Forgive And Forget

I really think that one of the big keys to success and happiness in life is to be able to forgive and forget.  With some people, it just comes naturally and easily; they can move on and mend relationships without regards to whatever transpired.

Of course, for many people, this is an acquired life skill that comes with maturity.  Take my mother, for example.  In her younger days, she was probably too unwilling to compromise and too headstrong.  She held her grudges against my father for the longest time, but as the years have passed, she has come to understand how she erred in not being more flexible.  Nowadays, she’s pretty much always happy-go-lucky when you bump into her.  Even when we have disagreements or we have a small fight, she never holds it against me.  It’s not just me, she’s the same way with everyone she meets.

I’m still working on it.  I am kind of egotisctical and unerring in my presumption that I’m always right 😛 (just ask my sister).  On top of that, it takes me a long time to forgive and a longer time still to forget.  I hope that I can correct this over time…life’s truly too short to hold grudges.  It’s just that for some, like me, it takes a really long time for that to set in.

I started thinking about this after reading an article on Jeff McInnis, who was basically banished from the Nets team for a whole year and whose career was put in limbo – especially so considering his age.  But of course, one of the things that comes with age is maturity:

McInnis has refused to criticize New Jersey coach Lawrence Frank, who was apparently upset with McInnis’ work ethic following knee surgery last January.

“If that was the case, I’d hold a grudge against every team I’ve played for,” said McInnis, who has played for eight teams. “I can’t think of it like that. They gave me $7 million to better my family. I can’t be mad at Jersey. They made a decision last summer not to bring me back, but I’m here now. I want to focus on the Bobcats.”

“When I was younger I probably wouldn’t understand it, but I’m older, I know what’s going on. I don’t have anything personal against Jersey.”

To be honest, with all the trash and rumors I had heard about McInnis and how the Nets treated him (not the classiest ways of doing business), this is a surprisingly mature response.  I hope that I can develop that same outlook on life and learn to be more optimistic and forgiving.

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